Limobike Tales

[brandersnatch]

WTC’s puking story reminds me of this little tale. Not puking but an intense physical reaction.
Working late picking up from Wembley Stadium after a gig. There were three or four of us Limobikers starbursting in different directions with our passengers. They were all attractive milfy types and mine was pretty hyped up after the gig. I can’t for the life of me remember who they’d seen.
My passenger was going to Loughton. Easy trip from Wembley round the North Circular Road and up the M11.
Me. Loughton then?
Milf. Yes. Are we going to go fast?
Me. Well, as fast as is safe yes.
Milf. I want to go fast.
Me. I can’t go really fast here but when we get to the M11 I’ll give it some.
Round the North Circular we go with her reminding me every couple of minutes that she wanted to go fast.
At the junction with the M11.
Me. Ok when we get to the end of the 40 mph speed limit I’m going to accelerate hard. Ready?
Milf. Oh yes I’m ready.
Approaching the NSL sign I dropped down three gears to get the bike at its peak power. Even though the Yamaha FJR1300 is a big touring bike they’ve got plenty of power and savage acceleration. Real supercar stuff.
Me. Ok. Ready?
Milf. Yes ready.
I twisted the throttle wide open, the bike shot forward and there were squeals from the back. Through the gears to about 125 mph. Then I eased off back to 80 cruising speed. Some weird moaning from the back.
Me. You ok? How was that, fast enough?
Milf. (Bit breathless.) Oh yes, amazing. You made me come.
Me. Really?
Milf. Oh yes, definitely.
Me. Glad to have been of service.
Milf. That sudden speed, I’ve never felt anything like it.
Me. Welcome to my world.
Arriving at her address she gave me a tenner tip and said.
Milf. I’m going indoors now and I’m going to fuck my old mans brains out!
Me. Enjoy yourself.
Interesting evening really.
Chicks tend to dig a bike but some chicks really dig them man. Know what I mean.

[Warren t claim]

WTC’s puking story reminds me of this little tale. Not puking but an intense physical reaction.
Working late picking up from Wembley Stadium after a gig. There were three or four of us Limobikers starbursting in different directions with our passengers. They were all attractive milfy types and mine was pretty hyped up after the gig. I can’t for the life of me remember who they’d seen.
My passenger was going to Loughton. Easy trip from Wembley round the North Circular Road and up the M11.
Me. Loughton then?
Milf. Yes. Are we going to go fast?
Me. Well, as fast as is safe yes.
Milf. I want to go fast.
Me. I can’t go really fast here but when we get to the M11 I’ll give it some.
Round the North Circular we go with her reminding me every couple of minutes that she wanted to go fast.
At the junction with the M11.
Me. Ok when we get to the end of the 40 mph speed limit I’m going to accelerate hard. Ready?
Milf. Oh yes I’m ready.
Approaching the NSL sign I dropped down three gears to get the bike at its peak power. Even though the Yamaha FJR1300 is a big touring bike they’ve got plenty of power and savage acceleration. Real supercar stuff.
Me. Ok. Ready?
Milf. Yes ready.
I twisted the throttle wide open, the bike shot forward and there were squeals from the back. Through the gears to about 125 mph. Then I eased off back to 80 cruising speed. Some weird moaning from the back.
Me. You ok? How was that, fast enough?
Milf. (Bit breathless.) Oh yes, amazing. You made me come.
Me. Really?
Milf. Oh yes, definitely.
Me. Glad to have been of service.
Milf. That sudden speed, I’ve never felt anything like it.
Me. Welcome to my world.
Arriving at her address she gave me a tenner tip and said.
Milf. I’m going indoors now and I’m going to fuck my old mans brains out!
Me. Enjoy yourself.
Interesting evening really.
Chicks tend to dig a bike but some chicks really dig them man. Know what I mean.

tdw12.PNG (167.95 KiB) Viewed 1257 times

That beats this story!

[brandersnatch]

WTC’s puking story reminds me of this little tale. Not puking but an intense physical reaction.
Working late picking up from Wembley Stadium after a gig. There were three or four of us Limobikers starbursting in different directions with our passengers. They were all attractive milfy types and mine was pretty hyped up after the gig. I can’t for the life of me remember who they’d seen.
My passenger was going to Loughton. Easy trip from Wembley round the North Circular Road and up the M11.
Me. Loughton then?
Milf. Yes. Are we going to go fast?
Me. Well, as fast as is safe yes.
Milf. I want to go fast.
Me. I can’t go really fast here but when we get to the M11 I’ll give it some.
Round the North Circular we go with her reminding me every couple of minutes that she wanted to go fast.
At the junction with the M11.
Me. Ok when we get to the end of the 40 mph speed limit I’m going to accelerate hard. Ready?
Milf. Oh yes I’m ready.
Approaching the NSL sign I dropped down three gears to get the bike at its peak power. Even though the Yamaha FJR1300 is a big touring bike they’ve got plenty of power and savage acceleration. Real supercar stuff.
Me. Ok. Ready?
Milf. Yes ready.
I twisted the throttle wide open, the bike shot forward and there were squeals from the back. Through the gears to about 125 mph. Then I eased off back to 80 cruising speed. Some weird moaning from the back.
Me. You ok? How was that, fast enough?
Milf. (Bit breathless.) Oh yes, amazing. You made me come.
Me. Really?
Milf. Oh yes, definitely.
Me. Glad to have been of service.
Milf. That sudden speed, I’ve never felt anything like it.
Me. Welcome to my world.
Arriving at her address she gave me a tenner tip and said.
Milf. I’m going indoors now and I’m going to fuck my old mans brains out!
Me. Enjoy yourself.
Interesting evening really.
Chicks tend to dig a bike but some chicks really dig them man. Know what I mean.

tdw12.PNG

That beats this story!

To be fair your story is about a much more ‘niche’ activity.

[brandersnatch]

Ok as promised on the grumpy thread a Linda Barker story.
I was dropping her off in a side street in south London where she had left her car. As is was dark I was waiting for her to get in and start up before riding away. As she opened the door a slightly mad looking woman and her, it turns out, embarrassed looking daughter came running up to her. Shouting in a thick southern Irish accent.

MLW. Oh it’s you isn’t it? Off the tele?
LB. Err. Yes.
MLW. Oh we love your program with the decorating don’t we?
D. (Mumbling) Yes.
MLW. Yes we love it, watch it all the time. You and that feller with the hair, Laurence thingy.
LB. That’s very kind of you to say so. Thank you.
MLW. All the time we love it don’t we?
D. Yes.
MLW. I’ll be telling my husband that we’ve seen you, this is great.
LB. Thank you.

The mad looking woman was going on and on about how great the show was how great Linda was, really over the top. Superfan stuff really.

MLW. Do you have a photograph that you can sign for us?
LB. Yes I think so let me look.

I’d just picked Linda up from shooting Changing Rooms I don’t think she carried photos all the time just in case.

LB. Here you are, who should I sign it to?
Mad looking woman says her name, Linda signs it and hands it over.
LB. Here you go.
MLW. Oh thank you, this is brilliant. Made my day this has. I’ll keep this forever. We all love your show.
LB. you’re welcome. I must go now.

Linda starts to open her car door.

MLW. Oh yes of course. Thank you. One more thing. What’s your name?

[brandersnatch]

Warren mentioning Gordon Brown in the Ukraine thread reminded me of this one. I once took David Cameron on the bike in the lead up to the election he was fighting against Brown. I got him on and the conversation went a bit like this.
Me. You’re not going to be able to do this in a couple of weeks after you win are you?
DC. Well, surely you mean if I win?
Me. Are you telling me you don’t think you can beat that one eyed spawny git?
Big laugh from the back and a sudden change of subject. Proper politicians answer.