The Astraslag TDW Slut Car Thread

[Warren t claim]

Mile 2000 clocked up today on my last delivery. I'd have posted a pic but Vauxhall trip meter just zeros at 2k.

[Warren t claim]

astra1.PNG (376.17 KiB) Viewed 556 times

I've noticed that the Disastra radio is fitted with an AS button. If I press it will I suddenly become a woke wanker who gets offended on other people's behalf?

[LynehamHerc]

I imagine that it transforms it into a 2CV or spaz chariot.

[mercrocker]

Or worse a nasal whine, faintly Midlands in accent, will talk you through the history and variants of AC Mk70s and assorted blue tricycles. This broadcast, if you survive, will be followed by an hour-long special entitled "Brexit...Why?"

After that there will be a message from our sponsor Ditchfinder Tyres and it will be then time for Ten Money Saving Tips to help you all through the forthcoming economic crisis. Time to stock up on those ziplock bags!

Please be advised that despite the best endeavours of the transmission department it will still be possible to get some interference on this channel which might sound like the word "cunt" repeated three times.

[Warren t claim]

Today was pad replacement day. Well, yesterday was but there wasn't a free ramp at Claim_Gerage so it had to wait until today. First shock was the cost of the front pads, nearly £38 inc VAT. Never mind. I rock up squealing to the garage and ask if we can get them changed. My friend the owner says yes "we" can change them, this implies that "we" means he'll provide the ramp and I'll supply the labour. Arsebiscuits, this means that I'll have to get my hands dirty and handle spanners.

As much as I hate spannering I was left with no alternative so I popped Disastra on the ramp. I did the usual fingerbanging trick to open the bonnet and unscrewed the brake fluid resav...resiv...container. I removed the wheel trims and stuck a 17mm socket on an air wrench to whip the wheels off. Second shock. A few of the front wheel nuts were little more than finger tight! I mused over who might want me dead but that list would probably take me the two hours I had before the start of my shift.

Once evevated and sans wheels I notice that theOS boot os toast. Hardly surprising as it's probably the original fitted in Ellesmere Port. The NS boot is OK so I might just explore the avenye of rep-lacing them with those bolt together split boots. Has anyone here used them before with satisfactory results?

The pad change goes remarkably smoothly, all bolts and clips release with ease and even the pistons play ball and pop back onto their calipers. As a bonus, even the Allen bolts holding the calipers on slide into place first time with no swearing. Time to drop the ramp and stick the wheels back on.

Once grounded I pot the cap back on the brake fluis thingy and nip to the bulb rack to grab a new headlamp bulb for the NS as the existing one blew on Wednesday night. This was changed in less than two minutes unlike the fucking palarva that was the case with the Ioniq. While the bonnet was open I checked the oil to be greeted by shock number three, it was nearly out of oil after only 2000 miles. I top it up to the top of the dipstick and make a mental note to monitor its oil consumption more often.

A quick trip to the bogs to clean myself up and a road test to the car wash to clean my oily dabs off the paintwork and the job's a good 'un. I can now press the middle pedal with confidence.

[Warren t claim]

Yesterday was not a good day.

I had to collect the son of Claim_Intended from Liverpool Lime Street/Paul McCartney (if you're reading this after he's died) station and take him back to North Wales at 9pm. Various roads into Wales were closed meaning a massive diversion was needed. Running late on a straight stretch of wide Welsh A road at about 85mph a fox decides to top itself under my wheels. In the process of this it takes with it half of the chin spoiler and damages the exhaust.

The disastra now has a rorty sound and leaks gasses into the cabin. I'll take it to Claim_Garage tomorrow and blag a ramp again. I fucking hope I don't find bits of dead Basil Brush under it.

[Eddie Honda]

I fucking hope I don't find bits of dead Basil Brush under it.

You hopefully won't Mr. Roy.

(And he's still with us at 81)

[Warren t claim]

I fucking hope I don't find bits of dead Basil Brush under it.

You hopefully won't Mr. Roy.

(And he's still with us at 81)

I always get Roy NORTH and Fred WEST mixed up.

[Eddie Honda]

I fucking hope I don't find bits of dead Basil Brush under it.

You hopefully won't Mr. Roy.

(And he's still with us at 81)

I always get Roy NORTH and Fred WEST mixed up.

Have a bit of Joe SOUTH

[Warren t claim]

Liked for not posting a Beautiful South song.