The Dark Wob

brandersnatch wrote: ↑Fri Jul 30, 2021 5:43 am Common sense and the London taxi driver are strangers. When motorcycle couriers first came about they were up in arms. Not because they wanted the parcel work but because they didn’t want anyone else doing it.

I moonlighted from my full time job in the winter of 1976/1977 working for many of the despatch companies that set up in the East End only to close a few weeks later.

Winter was best as so few riders fancied riding in the cold, and companies were always desperate for riders, especially on a Thursday and Friday, as lots of riders who started on the Monday never finished their first week. I tried working for a few days in the summer of 1977 but there were hundreds of college and iniversity students with the same idea.

Not sure if I've told this story yet but here goes.

I get a call to pick up an address with a cash up front notice. The girl comes out of the house next door (no surprise there) and says she wants to go to New Ferry. I recognise her as a local brass called Skinny Amy and she's obviously going to the brass house for her shift.

As it's a cash up front job and she's got no money she gives me her phone and says that the madam will pay me when she gets there, fair enough. When we arrive she scoots of and after five minutes the madam appears with a bag of change to pay the tenner fare. Fucking great. I count out the money and we both fuck off in different directions.

Just a mile down the road I remember that I've still got Skinny Amy's phone so I spin the car around and go back. I park up opposite the brass house and walk up the concealed entry and after banging on the door for five minutes the madam answers and I explain the situation.

Aa I'm leaving the premises I see two drivers from another taxi company smirking to each other after seeing me walk out of a well known brothel! This somewhat distracted me and I walked straight into an old lady who clearly knew what the premises are, I apologised but she looked me up and down, called me a filthy beast and stormed off with her nose in the air! Needless to say the drivers from the other company thought this was hilarious and I fucked off pronto in sheer embarrassment.

Hahaha
No smoke without fire!

I'm working a Friday afternoon in Eastham, not a time or place I usually work but hey ho.

I get despatched a job and dutifully turn up at the address. An old man with a grey beanie hat and an NHS walking stick exits his pensioner's bungalow and gets into the front passenger seat of my 400,000 mile Mondeo estate. He tells me he wants to go to the chemist to collect his prescription and then to the small Tesco nearby. No probs, I take him to the chemist and after five mins he returns with a massive bag full of his essential medication. He gets back into the front passenger seat and I run him the few hundred yards to the Tesco. This old fella with a grey beanie hat and NHS walking stick informs me that he'll only be a few minutes.

I spend the next ten minutes on waiting time amusing myself on FB and AS but then start to wonder where this OAP had fucked off to. I look up and notice that waiting at the bus stop in front of me is an old man wearing a grey beanie hat and using an NHS walking stick! Shit! My punter is clearly a bit senile and forgot that he had a taxi waiting!

Now, remembering all my Dignity and Respect training, I walk over and cheerfully tell the OAP that I'm here in his taxi and would he like to get in the car so I can take him home. He tells me that he hasn't ordered a taxi which means I have to try a different approach. I've written off the idea of getting paid for the job by now but I want him to still have his many tablets that were currently in my front passenger footwell. I tell him no problem, feel free to get the bus home but advise him to take his drugs home with him that I have in the car.

It's then he starts to get aggressive, he says that he doesn't want any of my fucking drugs! I can see this isn't going to be easy so I tell him that I'll get his prescription out of my car whilst turning around and motioning to my Mondeo estate. It's then I see an old man with a grey beanie hat and an NHS walking stick opening my passenger door and get into my car! Yes, I'd been trying to entice the wrong old man into getting into my car with the promise of drugs!!! At this point, I looked hopefully at the ground on the hope that it'd swallow me! I make my humble apologies and scamper back to my car to take the correct old man with a grey beanie hat and NHS walking stick back home!

Pensioner abductor!

Lol

For the first time in over three years I had a puker tonight.

To make matters worse it was on my first fare of the night! I picked up a couple and their four year old child from one posh address going to another agreeable abode. Obviously, they were paying by card via our app. The journey seems to go well enough, I get to their house and the man seems a bit sheepish saying that he's got no money to tip me and they get out of the car. Next job is a quick RTFC job, one passenger who rides shotgun in the front with me. Next job is a couple going a decent distance from a posh restaurant in West Kirby to Higher Bebington, a £20 fare. I turn up and the man gets in behind me while his (tasty) missus opens my NSR door and then noticed the pile of puke on the floor! I was fucking mortified!

Under those circumstances, I would always offer my deepest apologies, cancel the trip and get another car sent for them but as they'd been waiting so long to get home they agree to continue the fare, he stays in the back and his tasty wife rides in the front next to me. In all fairness, they're really understanding, even offering to get me some cleaning stuff from their house which is a nice offer but I decline. I take them home and they give me a nice tip for my humour and conversation.

Never had that at Limobike.

Hooli wrote: ↑Wed Aug 04, 2021 9:57 pm Pensioner abductor!

Sounds like Warren is the senile one.
Eh? Eh? WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY?