Your Driving Test. What do you remember of it?

[brandersnatch]

That’s them. Looking about ten feet in front of their bonnets. “He came out of nowhere!” No he didn’t you fuckwit!

TEN FEET?! You're the world's biggest exaggerator!

It's about two at most.

My dear old mum told me a million times not to exaggerate.

[PhilA]

September 1st, 1997. Weston Super Mare test center, down by the railway tracks.
I had been taking lessons once a week since my birthday back in March, driving only my instructor's sad-face purple 1.8D Fiesta because I didn't have a car of my own at the time.
I remember a few things about the test, the examiner decided to take the opposite route I was expecting- not down into the industrial estate but up out into town on the dual carriageway.
The road widens out a fair bit at the top, on the rise of the railway flyover, which ends in a roundabout. I got to the top, stopped because there was a car coming a little distance off.

Screenshot_20220710-082134_Maps.jpg (146.76 KiB) Viewed 672 times

Examiner said "we haven't got all day, go", so I pulled out and kangarooed a couple times, having had very little experience trying to make the dog-slow oil burner go fast. Check mark on the clipboard. Drove up the bridge, crested it and he said "go right at the roundabout". So I MSM my way into the right lane, and turn in, stopping for the red light at the ped crossing by Tesco. Down the short road to the roundabout onto George Street which is a narrow one-way flanked by parked cars down one side.

Screenshot_20220710-083046_Maps.jpg (219.9 KiB) Viewed 672 times

Emergency stop ("brake hard enough to make my clipboard fall off the back seat", said my instructor), up the road, right turn then left onto Boulevard.
Out to the beach promenade, along the front.

Screenshot_20220710-083523_Maps.jpg (315.11 KiB) Viewed 672 times

Hill start here, on the aptly named Uphill Road, having completed reverse around a corner and three point turn in the quieter parts of Uphill.
Left at the top, down to the roundabout and back into Weston to the test center.

I spent the entire test thinking he'd fail me for clutch control but that only scored me a minor for hesitation.

Walked out with a pass, drove home then didn't drive again for 3 months because I still didn't have a car...

[NorfolkNWeigh]

My bike test was taken at Hendon Test Centre and as I’m an old cunt , it was the ride around the block whilst a man in a raincoat watches from a distance. Thing is he was about 7 foot tall so when he said “ Go around the block and at some point I will step out, react as if it was a child chasing a football” As I turned into the street I could see him half way up trying to hide behind a Metro , when he jumped out I was laughing so much I almost forgot to stop. I managed to pass and remember his last Highway Code question “ Do you think wearing reflective gear is a good idea , and why?” So I gave him all the bollocks. His reply “ Well, why aren’t you wearing any ?”
Once passed I couldn’t tear up the L plates because I was using a Suzuki TS185 rented from Scootabout because my Honda 250RS was being repaired after an incident where I’d come off in Tottenham Court Rd ending up against a phone box breaking 2 fingers. A couple of days before.

My first car test was cancelled due to snow and I got a cancellation at Southall , I had a couple of lessons from a proper instructor the week before in an 1100L Fiesta . He didn’t say much just reminded me to keep to speed limits, and mentioned you only need to worry about 30s and 40s as you won’t go on anything faster on your test.
It started badly when I tried to pull away in 3rd so I stopped being nervous because I thought I’d already fucked it up, but when we ended up on the A40 which at the time 1981 was either 60 or 70 , I knew I’d passed and almost got too cocky , got away with it though.

The driving part of my Rolls Royce Chauffeur test, was basically like any other advanced bollocks, commentary etc . I struggled because instead of using “my “ Spirit they made me use one of the school’s cars . There were 2 SD1’s a Shadow2 and a Silver Cloud 3, I ended up in the Cloud which was almost 20 years old at the time but was kept so that we could learn about maintaining cars with the weird gearbox driven servo , amongst other stuff , greasing etc.
That servo was horrible, no assistance unless you were moving, which made it difficult to pull up smoothly, in addition the giant wheel and no door mirrors - I found it very stressful , but again got away with it . Afterwards Wally the chief instructor admitted he’d made me use that as the Spirit made it too easy and I was a cocky young bastard.

[Missy Charm]

I failed the first theory test on the hazard perception bit. Being no fan of computer games, I just didn't get it; annoying as I got all the questions right. Passed the second theory with full marks on the questions and just scraping through on hazard perception. I swear the hazard perception test was designed by someone with severe Asperger's who doesn't understand that video footage of roads in the real world contains multiple developing hazards.

Anyway. Practical test was done in Colchester at the wheel of a then new and very spiffy Peugeot 206. Rumours abounded amongst friends and fellow sixth formers as to which examiner was the best and/or most lenient, however that all turned out to be of no use to me when my examiner revealed himself to be a relief from Hemel Hempstead or somewhere similar. The test began. It became apparent barely five minutes in that the examiner's grasp of the geography of Colchester was weak to non-existent. He made me drive through the infamous Greenstead roundabout, a five-mini magic roundabout for those unfamiliar, to leave town. He shouldn't have done that; none of the sanctioned Colchester test routes include the magic roundabout as it is deemed too stressful for learners under test conditions. I've never had any problems with it however, and got through without issue.

We carried on with the examiner giving directions on a wing and a prayer. We went along a dual carriageway and then turned off onto a country road for no reason whatsoever and drove back towards the town. The route became ever more bizarre and tortuous, to the extent that we ended up stuck in a maze of streets within an industrial area neither of us knew. At one point he directed me into a factory car park. I questioned it but was told to proceed, only to be met with the car park's back wall and no obvious means of exit. The instructor tried to remedy things by suggesting he had directed me into the car park on purpose, so that I could demonstrate performing a U-turn. I did and left. Somehow, after what seemed like hours, we ended up back at the Greenstead Roundabout. Through we went again and limped to the test centre.

The whole thing was a farce. We went where we shouldn't and half the manoeuvres were missed out. I passed. I don't think the examiner wanted anyone asking questions about that test...

[Hooli]

I know that roundabout, for shits n giggles I'd go around it the 'wrong' way as it seems to really confuse people.

Would be a sod on your test though as none of the locals can use it properly.

[Scruffy Bodger]

I took my test in Ludlow, there was only one set of traffic lights in the whole area at the time and the bypass was the A road of choice so maybe contributed to my pass? My instructor had a newish TD Nova so stalling it was never going to be a problem. I did a deal with him for a free lesson as my younger brother was soon to be taking lessons so got up to 6 lessons before my test instead of the 5 it would have been.

As for the test the only thing I remember were the two comments afterwards. The first was that he thought I was too relaxed and not taken it seriously enough, the second was that it was his first day at this test centre, he'd failed the person before me, congratulations on being his first pass

My problem was I was skint and couldn't afford to get on the road. I'd spent all my money on the rotten Series III Land Rover my parents had given me. The clutch was fucked, brake pipes rotten, chassis gone in various places, holes in the bodywork in front of the doors etc, it'd been stood in a field for at least 12 months, probably more. I managed to get it all done without it going to a garage with help from people I knew but it was months before it saw the road after passing my test. I paid for my lessons, the parts, the tax, MOT and the insurance although obviously I was a named* driver back then on my old mans policy.

[Warren t claim]

Do any of you remember what cars the local driving schools used when you were learning?

Back in 87 there was a pretty wide spectrum of motors used for teaching pupils.

Obviously there were many BSM Metros.
Another nationwide school called Reeds Surepass had a fleet of 205 diesels.
A local school had a wide variety of stuff ranging from a Mini to a Montego saloon with a couple of Maestro's as well.
The K10 Micra was very popular as were Nissan Sunnys, both the new FWD and older model.
Fords weren't generally liked by instructors back then due to them having fierce clutches but there were a couple of exceptions. The first was a couple of gay fellas who ran brand new XR2s. Some might say that was a ploy to attract young men as pupils. Another was a guy who traded under the name of REW School Of Motoring. He had an eleven year old Mk2 Escort that not only had the sort of signwriting that was obtained via the bin stickers sold at B&Q, but was often seen instructing pupils with ladders on the roof of his Escort.

[mercrocker]

The bloke I passed with used an Aunty-Bathroom-Turquoise 120Y with the dustbin wheel trims but had recently graduated* from the Austin 1300 he taught my parents with (they learnt quite late in life, think they were both over 30) and the fella I tried out with before that also had a 120Y which seemed to drive a lot better than the newer one I passed in.

Default choice around that time was the ADO16 but there were 2 independents using Mk1/2 Escorts and I think the BSM franchisee had a Mk2 Cortina before the 1100/1300 but they were always regarded as an expensive School so rarely seen in our streets....

There was another older fella with an Escort, there was a rumour that he was a knee-stroker and he had little black covers that went over the L boards which everybody said were what he bagged up kidnapped girl's heads with. Poor fella, was probably all bollocks but he was avoided, nonetheless.

[Jerzy Woking]

Took my bike test in 1976 (on my 17th birthday) at Colchester test centre on a Honda SS50 moped, but with the pedal assembled removed and C50 footpegs bolted on. Had a 2 minute conversation with the instructor about my conversion, and he accepted that it was a motorcycle for the test. We then had a conversation about what bike I would get when I passed my test. Nice bloke, must have been in his mid 60's ( but then, everyone is ancient when you are 17). Rode around the block by the test centre a few times and secured a pass.

Four week later I had my car test after 3 one hour lessons, and 1 two hour lesson, all in a Datsun 100A. The day of my test I had to have an hour long lesson before my test, as my instructor had just bought a 140Y.

Same examiner, who remembered me as he asked what bike I had bought. Test went fine, but as I pulled up to park, I underestimated the length of the front of the car and hit the chain link fence, moving it about 9 inches or so. He just said "you won't ever do that again, will you?" and told me I had passed.