Claim's Cabbies Corner. Repo Revenge.

[Uncle Albert]

I think tales of cabbing an MG6 would have been legendary. Maybe not so good for your sanity, mind.

[paulplom]

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[paulplom]

At kfc with gf today and a dude rocks up in a '10 plated up zafira. That's livin' alright.

[Warren t claim]

I've never known a Xmas period to pass by without incident and 2023 hasn't been an exception.

Let's start with yesterday. I get a call from the oppo asking if I wouldn't mind running to the Iceland Food Warehouse in Rock Ferry to pitch up a young couple with lots of shopping and a pram, they've been waiting for a hack for over thirty minutes and out of the goodness of my heart I agree to scamper over there to pick them up. They want to go home which is about two or three miles away so after squeezing everything into the back we head off.

If this was a PH job I'd have taken them the dead shortest route but because it was a hack job on the meter I take a slightly longer route to avoid a set of four way temp traffic lights. This way means that we have to wait at a normal set of red lights and at that junction there's a thirtysomething chunky office type lady wandering between the waiting cars. My passengers want to ask if she's OK and insist that I roll down my NSF window to check she's hunky dory.

She's pissed. VERY PISSED! One peculiarity of the TX taxi is that the NSF door isn't linked to the central locking. This is so passengers at mainline stations or airports can load cases next to the driver before jumping into the back leaving the driver to close the door by pulling the closing cable. I normally keep that door locked but there's been a few occasions this weekend when I've had passengers from the rank with two trolley loads of shopping meaning that I've had to put bags in the front as well as the back. This turbo pissed woman opens the front door and promptly sits on the floor next to me. FFS! I try to explain to her that I'll take her home after I've dropped off my passengers in the back. In her heightened state of refreshment, she thinks that I'm driving her somewhere to have fun and starts to try and unzip me as I'm driving whilst promising me the best head ever! My passengers think this is funny watching me try to unhand her from my genitals. They soon change their mind when we get to their house and whilst we're unloading their shopping she tries to walk through their front door!

The bloke and I manage to get her in the back of my cab and I fuck off in the direction of where she wants to go. I'm sure I'll not get paid but never mind. As we are driving through the town centre she shouts stop. I pull over outside a bar and she just sits there in the back not making any move to exit the cab. After a minute I get out and open the door for her. She lumbers out and tells me that this is where we're going dancing. I walk her to the door before telling he that she's left my door open. I run back, close the rear door, hop in the front and fuck off as fast as I can.

[Warren t claim]

A couple of hours ago I got a job taking me to the arse end of Wirral. When I drop off I'm happy to see a job on my PDA taking me back to the busy area. I pull up outside the pick up location, a pub unsurprisingly, and two fellas walk out, one more pissed than the other. The slightly more sober one wants dropping off RTFC and even after the quarter of a mile his mate is totally comatose. I say that there's no fucking way I'm taking his mate without a full address so his mate shakes him and gets the road name and door number from him. I let him sleep for the rest of the trip.

It's when I get to Baldy 50 year old Penfold's house is when the fun starts. I have to wake him up and he starts flattering between whether he wants to pay by cash or card. I get my card reader out and set up the contactless payment for £14.70, get in the back and sit on the left rear jump seat holding my card reader. He's now starting to get a little bit nasty so I get out and start to walk to his house to summon assistance from his missus.

B.P. "Don't you go knocking on my door making my dad angry."

So he's 50 and still lives with his parents?

W.T.C. "So pay your fucking bill then!"

B.P. "Don't fucking eyeball me! I don't like it! Do you know who my dad is?"

I don't know who his dad is but he'll be about 75 and hardly a threat.

W.T.C. "Don't be a prick. Just pay the fare and fuck off".

B.P. "One phone call from me and I'll have a car full of lads screaming through the tunnel from Liverpool to fuck you over!"

W.T.C. "Having to call mates over to do me in isn't something to be proud of. It just means that you're a mummy's boy little shithouse who can't take me on alone".

This clearly triggers B.P and he tries to take a lunge at me from the back seat. I'm standing by the open NSR door and my first thought was to slam the door on his arm but then I notice something that makes me change my mind, his wallet on the back seat. I let him finish his pissed lunge which only results in him laying flat out half in the cab and half on the wet pavement. I put one boot on his back to restrain him, reach in to get his wallet and take a contactless payment.

B.P. "You fucking cunt! I'm getting my dad!"

W.T.C. "The payment's gone through for the £14.70 plus the fiver tip".

I drag his legs out of the back and drive away.

[christine]

Blimey

[Warren t claim]

Blimey

Once a year drinkers.

[Warren t claim]

Carrying pets.
As a rule, I've never had a problem carrying dogs. Pets quite often make better passengers than people and I always carry some dog treats in my cab for our furry passengers. Today was different. I had a job taking an OAP lady and her small poodle for a two mile trip.  When we get there I get out of the cab to help her with her bags and as she's getting the money from her purse £5 blows out of her hand. I run to chase it and at that point, her poodle decides to attack me and sinks its fucking teeth into my leg! She says sorry and gives me a whopping 20p tip to compensate....
My previous scary pet situation happened many years ago. I had to pick up a young lady from the vets in Wallasey to take her to Oxton. She got into the back of my Montego (I did say this was a long time ago) with a pet carrier. Throught the trip she was looking into the pet carrier and saying "you be a good boy Jasper, we'll be home soon". My mum had a Cat called Jasper at the time so in my head I assumed that it was a cat in the pet carrier. As we were driving up a dark bit of Boundary Rd she squealed that Jasper's escaped! My eyes dart around the inside of my Montego hoping that Jasper isn't dangling off the drooping headlining but oh no! Jasper isn't a cat. Jasper is a fucking python and Jasper was coiling himself around my left leg! How the hell I managed not to bury my BL barge into the fence at the local city farm is a miracle! She unwaraps Jasper from my leg and puts him back into the carrier, but not before bopping him on the nose and telling him that he's a naughty boy!

[mercrocker]

Fucking hell, I'm glad I only had to DJ in a pub full of pissheads tonight, never mind get them home safely.....

[Warren t claim]

Xmas 2023 hasn't been the best I've known. Having only a 5 passenger TX1.5 means that I've missed out on all the 6&7 seat lucrative work meaning that essentially I've just been using a 25mpg hack to cover standard private hire jobs. With the top speed of a little over 50mph, running up and down the M53 to cover jobs has also been a no no both through time and fuel economy. As my E7 is still off the road I made the executive decision to jump back into a PH car until my own hack is fixed.

This, along with the opportunity to create great posts both here and on the beige, is why I decided to hand the TX back and rent the MG6 diesel from Peter in the office. Philly, who I rent my TX from was asking me when I'll be handing it back anyway as he's got a long term hirer interested so I phoned him to keep him in the loop. Philly said swapping my insurance over shouldn't be a problem as Chinky Ray, real name Ray Ling (yes really!) has just jumped into another one of his cabs the day before when Ray's Happy Shopper Toyota E7 wannabe TW 2000 broke down and the insurance broker was open yesterday, therefore, today should be no different.

I make contact with Peter via the office and he phones me back confirming that he's got an MG6 and Hyundai i40 ready to go. Without thinking I ask for the MG and he then texts me the vehicle details needed for the insurance along with the location of the key for the MG, in the passenger door bin of a fucked 14 plate silver Insignia in the car park behind his flat along with the location where the MG is parked. This info arrives whilst I'm carrying five punters back from the Everton match to their multi million pound abode in Caldy. As the traffic is heavy I manage to take a sneaky peek at the text and was surprised to see that the MG concerned wasn't the white example in his car park but a black 15 plate I've never seen before.

As last night was surprisingly busy I managed to grab the VW Passat like dildo key fob when I was passing but didn't get a chance to go hunt for the black MG for at least an hour later. As I was walking back to my cab after grabbing the key I notice the i40 parked up and start to have pangs of regret about insisting on the MG. I like the i40, even in taxi spec. To be honest, when I bought my Ioniq I'd actually gone there to buy an i40. I spent the next hour or so thinking that I'd made the wrong decision just to please a bunch of middle aged men on a couple of car forums! The i40 is physically a larger car with more room in the back which is important if you've got long legs like me. I know the fleet/taxi spec lacks cruise control and sat nav but I know I can live without that. And on a personal point of view, I think the i40 is a great looking car, especially in gloss black, and I prefer a saloon car to hatchbacks anyway.

To be continued...