Tales from the banger auction. 1980s style.

Talk about your cars etc here. Keep it sort of sensible and on topic please.
AMCrebel
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Re: Tales from the banger auction. 1980s style.

Post by AMCrebel »

A mate of mine's Dad rented a unit in some old warehouses - we used to muck about with cars down there and we saw some sights.

One of the blokes round the corner was sticking a coachline on a Billy Bunter one time - only needed to do one side as that was the side they'd see as it went through - that one also only had hubcaps on that side.

There was also a Peugeot (I think it was) where the rear arches were fucked inside but it wasn't obvious - you could see if you opened the rear doors. Otherwise it was decent looking car - so he took off the rear doorcards and self-tappered the rear doors shut.

Another time he needed some pistons for a Ford V6 as it had holed a couple - he bought a Zodiac and took the pistons out - then sent it back to the auction as a non-runner.
2005 Land Rover Discovery SE Manual
2003 Mercedes E320 Estate
1968 AMC Rebel SST Convertible
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1994 Fleetwood Colchester 1850 EB

Hoping for roffle win :)
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Re: Tales from the banger auction. 1980s style.

Post by Xkjagnz »

I bought a series 2 xj6 from Portsmouth car auctions for 300 quid, picked it up Friday lunchtime, went to the petrol station to fill up, put 11 gallons in the port tank, then started filling up the starboard one.
Fuel gushing round my feet, looked under and there was no plug /fuel line at the bottom.
Garage shut all the pumps and fire brigade called out, huge queue of pissed of people waiting to fill up
The firemen pushed the jag away from the pump and one of them said to me "best you piss off or you'll get charged for this"
So off I pissed with my free 11 gallons
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Re: Tales from the banger auction. 1980s style.

Post by AutoshiteBoy »

Always nice to get a heads-up.
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Re: Tales from the banger auction. 1980s style.

Post by Warren t claim »

Some of the shit I drove around the ring really should have gone straight to the frag machine.

I've seen plenty of cut and shut jobs that'd fool an expert from ten paces, sadly this Astra wasn't one of them. It was a Mk1 GTE with some seriously obvious weld marks on the A pillar. Whilst in front of the rostrum it drew crowds of people all eager to run their hands over the join. It failed to sell the first time around but found a buyer at the second attempt.

A seriously fucked Escort cabriolet showing serious signs of a very poor crash repair found a happy buyer. Well, happy until he crashed and died in it the next month.

I'm a firm believer in Caveat Emptor but at times I have some sort of morals and ethics. I was scampering across the yard to drive a seriously bodged Lancia Delta into the ring for its three minutes of glory. When I got there I was greeted by a young lad and his pregnant girlfriend admiring it. He told me that he wanted to buy it and it did look OK in white with Martini stripes. Not wanting to see a lad taken to the cleaners I told him not to bother and to illustrate my point I banged one of the front arches and a kilo of corroded Italian metal fell out. The hammer dropped at something like £300 and when I went to the shed to return the keys he was waiting there with his passout, yes, he'd ignored me and bought it!
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Re: Tales from the banger auction. 1980s style.

Post by AutoshiteBoy »

Can't help anyone who won't help themselves.
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Re: Tales from the banger auction. 1980s style.

Post by Dead_E23 »

I used to do odd bits of driving for a trader during the holidays whilst at university so got to spend time hanging around these places.
Shoreham auction on the south coast had a reputation for shitty stock and we seldom went, but it was there I saw the only Alfa 6 I've ever seen in the metal. It made £50. I didn't have £50.
One of the other traders was a bit of a Jack the lad and famously once put a Metro into the sale that had had a terrific whack in the driver's side, which he concealed by holding a door in the aperture with one hand whilst he went around it with the other tacking it with his MIG welder. A big baggy seat cover to conceal how the sill and floor were all bent up inside the car and someone had a lovely bargain.
I miss places like that, and oh - the bacon sandwiches! I guess the closest thing today is Copart.
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Re: Tales from the banger auction. 1980s style.

Post by mercrocker »

AutoshiteBoy wrote: Sat Jul 03, 2021 6:41 am Can't help anyone who won't help themselves.
'Tis true but there are those who believe an auction staff member putting them off a motor means one of their mates wants it.
There's a great long bar in Rock & Roll heaven.......
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Re: Tales from the banger auction. 1980s style.

Post by DodgeRover »

I remember my cousin looking underneath a MK1 transit he was interested in, as he was coming out he noted an extra couple of pairs of legs had appeared at which point he shouted up to me "no not this one the chassis legs are rotten and the water pump is leaking", he bought that for £125, obviously it was rock solid underneath...
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