Claim's Cabbies Corner. Kill crazy rampage imminent.

Talk about your cars etc here. Keep it sort of sensible and on topic please.
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner DRIVER REQUIRES URGENT ASSISTANCE

Post by Hooli »

Aye they don't exist as a police force any more, just a political tool.
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner DRIVER REQUIRES URGENT ASSISTANCE

Post by NorfolkNWeigh »

I haven’t done an honest nights work on a circuit since 1999 and then only in genteel Milton Keynes. I’m sure I’ve recounted my 2 serious incidents before, but I liked a bit of a ruck and some excitement as much as the next youngish man, full of piss and vinegar. Getting to drive like a twat to the scene of a “ Four Zero” , see we still had radios no fancy dataheads, was a big appeal too.
Being sober is the biggest advantage you can have in a fight , that and stupid meant being out numbered didn’t used to bother me that much. This enthusiasm and having 2.0 petrol cars meant I always seemed to be first to arrive, in fact the night co trollers often prefaceda 4-0 call with my number!

But one Saturday I had a posse...
I’d just picked up 4 lads from Olney Rugby Club heading into the clubs, even in my Carlton it was a bit of a squeeze and pretty sure none of them were smaller than me . The minibus driver hits the panic button in a village 4 miles away , dispute over fare turned into 8 idiots trying to nick his LDV, well I say his, he rented it off me !
The posh lads here this and are up for it, a couple of them produced tape and started wrapping their knuckles, FFS.
The old 2.0CDX was hitting 120 on the long straights even fully laden and we screamed up to find Dave the min us driver being held down by 2 s rotes whilst the others were looking for the keys- he’d chucked them in the hedge.
It was chaos , especially as Dave and to a lesser extent me didn’t know who was on our side in the dark , but even 8 against 5 we survived with nothing more than a few bruises and ripped shirts.
The Police turned up about 40 minutes later and we were looking for the keys, they turned up in a V8 Sherpa riot van and wanted to nick us all for affray or something- the actual s rotes had gone by now too.

I’ve been to few where I’ve sided with the customer when the idiot driver has panicked over a fare dispute and was obviously taking the piss. One lad was so bad for this I started putting a lost fare on his account if I thought he was wasting my time.
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner DRIVER REQUIRES URGENT ASSISTANCE

Post by Warren t claim »

NorfolkNWeigh wrote: Mon Sep 28, 2020 6:11 pm I haven’t done an honest nights work on a circuit since 1999 and then only in genteel Milton Keynes. I’m sure I’ve recounted my 2 serious incidents before, but I liked a bit of a ruck and some excitement as much as the next youngish man, full of piss and vinegar. Getting to drive like a twat to the scene of a “ Four Zero” , see we still had radios no fancy dataheads, was a big appeal too.
Being sober is the biggest advantage you can have in a fight , that and stupid meant being out numbered didn’t used to bother me that much. This enthusiasm and having 2.0 petrol cars meant I always seemed to be first to arrive, in fact the night co trollers often prefaceda 4-0 call with my number!

But one Saturday I had a posse...
I’d just picked up 4 lads from Olney Rugby Club heading into the clubs, even in my Carlton it was a bit of a squeeze and pretty sure none of them were smaller than me . The minibus driver hits the panic button in a village 4 miles away , dispute over fare turned into 8 idiots trying to nick his LDV, well I say his, he rented it off me !
The posh lads here this and are up for it, a couple of them produced tape and started wrapping their knuckles, FFS.
The old 2.0CDX was hitting 120 on the long straights even fully laden and we screamed up to find Dave the min us driver being held down by 2 s rotes whilst the others were looking for the keys- he’d chucked them in the hedge.
It was chaos , especially as Dave and to a lesser extent me didn’t know who was on our side in the dark , but even 8 against 5 we survived with nothing more than a few bruises and ripped shirts.
The Police turned up about 40 minutes later and we were looking for the keys, they turned up in a V8 Sherpa riot van and wanted to nick us all for affray or something- the actual s rotes had gone by now too.

I’ve been to few where I’ve sided with the customer when the idiot driver has panicked over a fare dispute and was obviously taking the piss. One lad was so bad for this I started putting a lost fare on his account if I thought he was wasting my time.
Back in the days when plod didn't give a fuck what we did as long as we didn't kill anyone or bother them, booting it to a panic alarm/Yellow 1/Code 13 was the high spot of many a Saturday night. As my colleague above stated, passengers loved to come along for the ride and if they're handy lads then they looked forward to it!

On our old Auriga dataheads to activate the panic button the driver had to press * and 0 at the same time. A design oversight was that to clear your set after a job the driver had to press * and then 0 meaning lads who were a bit too quick with their fingers would accidentally trip the panic button. A feature of hitting the panic button was that it would open the mic on the radio meaning the operator could hear what was going on in the car so he or she could determine whether it was a genuine emergency or not. One night I was dropping a little old lady off at our local Mecca Bingo when I was a bit to fast clearing my job. The first thing I noticed is when I was boxed in by other taxis and another driver called Cigar Man (for obvious reasons) pulled up next to me in his metallic blue, R plate Mondeo LX diesel asking if I was OK. It was only then that the penny dropped as to what I had done! At least the other drivers attending had clocked that it was a lone, female OAP in my car and realised that it was a false alarm. I'm just glad that I wasn't dropping off a bunch of lads and the drivers jumped to the wrong conclusion!

The thing was, like NNW mentioned, a fair few of these were driver induced fare disputes. Nowadays our dataheads are cheap Andriod mobiles with the despatch software built in including a GPS tracked meter but in the old Auriga/radio days fares were either calculated using a tariff sheet and your trip meter or a driver could buy his own meter and have it fitted and set to whatever fare structure his firm used. When you had your meter fitted into your car (£200 all in) the company would also program in something we used to call "Pirate Rate". Pirate Rate was your usual fare plus about 10% and we ran it when we were doing iilegal street pick ups, known locally as pirating. By some quirk, the answer to which I still don't know, when a driver switched his meter off time and motion to motion only whatever tariff number you were charging would not be displayed on the meter making it hard for the passenger to complain to your office.

One lad really used to take the piss. I'm not sure how high he set his pirate rate but almost every Saturday night between 2 and 3am he'd end up pressing his panic button when one of his fares saw their arse over their bill. He even used to charge pirate rate with regular passengers who did the same trip every day and knew exactly how much the trip should cost! He was known as Mark The Tub Of Lard, even though he'd managed to shed over five stone using the amphetamine diet program, and both him and his then wife Donna were drivers at our firm.

Mark was one of life's nearly men, always trying to make money however he could although he owed money just about everywhere. He tried to be the next big thing in the local taxi rental game buy buying a couple of ex Merseyside Police Mk3 Astra diesels for £800 quid each. Not being clued up on cars the Astras he bought weren't the hassle free Isuzu powered ones but the Vauxhall powered Slow Blow fuckers. One of these he kept for himself and admitedly it ran OK and did provide exeptional fuel economy but the one he tried to rent out smoked more than me and was always breaking down. Undeterred, he went out and bought a seriously shunted Pug 306 petrol which to his credit he had repaired and started using that himself and rented his reliable Astra out. Mark went on to take his PSV test and went on to start a very sucessful small bus company. Unfortunately, he then caught Donna screwing around on him (she'd been doing that for years and he was the last to know) and let his bus empire turn to shit.
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner DRIVER REQUIRES URGENT ASSISTANCE

Post by AutoshiteBoy »

Was she fit?
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner DRIVER REQUIRES URGENT ASSISTANCE

Post by cros »

AutoshiteBoy wrote: Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:37 am Was she fit?
Is that the only question you have after two manificent posts? Me too.
Last edited by cros on Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner DRIVER REQUIRES URGENT ASSISTANCE

Post by AutoshiteBoy »

I listened to and read a long winded case at work today along with a college and at the end of it, I posed the same question. How odd? Totally different circumstances like.
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner DRIVER REQUIRES URGENT ASSISTANCE

Post by Warren t claim »

AutoshiteBoy wrote: Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:37 am Was she fit?
The OAP or Donna?
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner DRIVER REQUIRES URGENT ASSISTANCE

Post by AutoshiteBoy »

Either.
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner DRIVER REQUIRES URGENT ASSISTANCE

Post by Warren t claim »

AutoshiteBoy wrote: Tue Sep 29, 2020 9:54 pmEither.
The OAP was your typical bingo Bertha and Donna is both tiny and gobby. About 4'10 with short hair. You've heard of short man syndrome? Well, she has short woman syndrome.
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Re: Claim's Cabbies Corner SHAGGING UPDATE

Post by Warren t claim »

Just to go off on a tangent for a little while I thought I'd touch on a subject that many people want to know about working nights driving a taxi.

Do you get many offers and do you get to shag plenty of birds on the back seat?

An interesting question.

I'm going to explode a myth first. Every lady who's made me an offer has paid the fair first. I honestly can't say that I've ever been offered a shag in lieu of payment. The clost I got to a shag for fare scenario is when I had my hack and picked up a girl who was obviously on the game. The fare came to something like a fiver and she offered to either pay the fiver or pay £3.20 and a blow job. I took the fiver! £1.80 has to be the cheapest trade price blow job in history though.

Some ladies were well known in our area as being up for it. One such lady was a barmaid called Jan who, by her own admission, had shagged over a thousand men. Jan has huge tits and was married to a fella who apparently was a near Olympic standard rower. Jan likes her comfort though, no back seat banging for her, you had to take her back home which is great if you're single. Jan always wears lingerie and her pulling ploy is to cross her legs on the back seat so you can see everything and when she pays you she scratches the plam of your hand with her nails and asks if you'd like to get "amorous". When I first encountered her it was early Xmas morning. I picked her up from a pub (not the one she worked in) where she'd clearly spent the night shagging the landlord. She was pretty open on the journey back to her home that he'd failed to satisfy her and was flirting hard. Sadly, I was in a relationship at the time and had to knock her back. I was pretty flattered when she said she didn't do old or ugly and I was neither though! When she gave up on me she sighed and said "never mind, I suppose I should go back to my husband anyway as it is both Christmas and his birthday".

As luck might have it I picked her up again about a year later when I had just become single again. Somewhat unsurprisingly she didn't recognise me but tried it on with me again. I was happy to oblige this time and we went back to my flat for drinks and a shag before taking her back home the following lunchtime. She certainly lived up to her reputation and I really can't complain at all. Everyone happy and phone numbers weren't exchanged. We both new the score. Apparantly she left her husband to live with another (brave) man shortly afterwards. She did have some strange bedroom fantasies though, Lady Chatterley's Lover kinda stuff, after climaxing through oral she'd shout "please mount me my lord and roger me hard". Still, each to their own.

It's pretty important for a taxi driver to know his place when it comes to offers off ladies at 3am. Remember that she's been to the pub and failed to score, been to a club and failed to score, been for a curry and failed to score and therefore the taxi driver taking her home is the last roll of the dice. It's either him or the rampant rabbit. If there was an alternative then there's now way she'd be asking you in for a coffee!

As a single driver working weekend nights for my firm there was an easy option. We had/have a base in the nightclub area of town that on weekends is manned by a bouncer. If I tipped him £2 at the start of my shift he's make sure that instead of the usual pissed up arseholes wanting a lift home I'd get the better single ladies as fares. £2 well spent as I'm sure you'd agree. Sadly this backfired on me one New Years Eve when I scored early and ended my shift with only £80 in my pocket.

If you want to know more then let me know.
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