Claim's Cabbies Corner. Repo Revenge.

[Warren t claim]

One thing that has often puzzled me....You used to see a lot of W201 190Es on ranks in the European mainland and indeed they were available with taxi-spec dash or, more correctly, what became known as that. However, unless you have a contract with the local amputee clinic I can't for the life of me see how you got folk in the back - I was forever steering with my knees when carrying rear passengers.

Really? I can imagine plenty of W124s but not 190s.

[mercrocker]

Salzburg had quite a few as did Amsterdam although I can imagine the shorter length being possibly an advantage there. Yeah, many more W124s and W123s as you would expect, though.

[Warren t claim]

Let's turn the clock back to about 2003.

A company called something like Wirral Executive Cars, hereafter known as WEC, had won a contract to supply "taxi" services to the huge Uniler factory in Port Sunlight in Wirral.

WEC decided to have a recruitment day at a local posh hotel to persuade some local drivers to sign up. W.T.C attended with a couple of mates to see what the score was.

The business model WEC followed was a strange one. Due to a loophole in PH and taxi regulations, a WEC driver didn't need to be badged and their car didn't need to be plated. This works because no cash changes hands and all trips are booked over 24 hours in advance.

The WEC payment structure was somewhat different to what we were used to as well. WEC payed for ALL miles driven regardless of whether you had a passenger or not, sounds good so far, but what they were paying was a mere 45p per mile!!! To put that into perspective, back then our firm's tariff was £2.30 for the first mile and £1.20 per mile thereafter. Audible gasps spread around the room! The guy doing the presentation then displayed, via Powerpoint, the earnings of one driver who'd driven well over 2000 miles in a week and managed to bag himself over a grand. I've worked in enough bonus and commission paid jobs to know that one guy having a good week doesn't mean that the typical worker will make anything like the same money!

Nevertheless, as WEC was paying for lunch we stayed in our chairs to hear the rest of his spiel. Here's what WEC were insisting on. Suited drivers, fair enough. Driver to provide a quality newspaper for passengers to read, no problem there, and driver to provide a "quality" car less than three years old, hmmmm, it seems like our five year old Mondeos and 406s wouldn't be posh enough for WEC.

What did WEC suggest we do to solve the quality car issue? Well, for a "favourable" price, we could sign on the line for a brand new Rover 75 diesel supplied by WEC! At this point the whole WEC business model seemed to exist to sell Rover 75s rather than provide transport! To the best of my knowledge, nobody in the room took up their tempting offer!

So what happened to WEC? I simply have no idea but I can tell you what the state of play with the Unilever contract is today. As of today, Unilever has its transport contract with the London-based PH firm Addison Lee. Addison Lee plated (in Chester/Cheshire West and not Wirral) a fleet of Toyota Prius+s, they're the large version of the Prius. The sad thing is Addison Lee subcontracts ALL their Unilever jobs to my firm, much to the annoyance of many Unilever passengers, choosing to concentrate their efforts locally on the more profitable work of transporting old ladies to cruise terminals. Unilever execs expecting a chauffer driven E Class Merc to take them to the airport must be delighted to be greeted by a nine year old Prius being driven by an Asian guy whose only English is Prius, postcode and council house! How the fuck Addy Lee has maintained the contract is anyone's guess!

Somewhat unsurprisingly, Addison Lee jobs are unpopular with us drivers. They insist that the driver wears a mask, fair enough. The demand that the car is sanitised before the journey, yeah right! And finally, Addison Lee insists that the driver wears a seat belt! This is the get out clause that most of us use to swerve doing their jobs and there's nothing that my firm, Addison Lee or Unilever can do as the Road Traffic Act that exempts us from wearing seat belts overrides any passenger requests.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I got away with that, no cash, prebooked exective jobs only, loophole for a couple of years. It got slammed shut in about 2010, but before it did my Local Council used to phone up wi5h fake bookings from the local Holiday Inn wanting to go to Manchester Airport , or somewhere equally lucrative, from us it was a £150/75 job at that time.
They’d pretend to be from a local company booking it for a client who was going to pay cash. When the unlicensed car turned up they’d get in, have a Copper pull them up round the corner and do them for licensing offences and more importantly no insurance.
Luckily I never got caught, I mean wouldn’t do something so dodgy. But a mate that I used to swap work with did almost get caught, he pulled up at the hotel and recognised the customer as a receptionist from the Council Office , so fucked off a bit sharpish. He still got a load of grief and threats but no Police and no fines.

[mercrocker]

Only a council-run scam would utilise such an easily recognisable decoy. FFS!

[Warren t claim]

I got away with that, no cash, prebooked exective jobs only, loophole for a couple of years. It got slammed shut in about 2010, but before it did my Local Council used to phone up wi5h fake bookings from the local Holiday Inn wanting to go to Manchester Airport , or somewhere equally lucrative, from us it was a £150/75 job at that time.
They’d pretend to be from a local company booking it for a client who was going to pay cash. When the unlicensed car turned up they’d get in, have a Copper pull them up round the corner and do them for licensing offences and more importantly no insurance.
Luckily I never got caught, I mean wouldn’t do something so dodgy. But a mate that I used to swap work with did almost get caught, he pulled up at the hotel and recognised the customer as a receptionist from the Council Office , so fucked off a bit sharpish. He still got a load of grief and threats but no Police and no fines.

I'm surprised that I've not talked about local authority enforcement yet so this seems like as good a chance as any.

Here on Merseyside, the plod have tactics they use to snare drivers doing illegal street pick ups.

They wait at the end of the old Mersey Tunnel which is a common PH pick up point and ask a driver to take them (It's always a couple) to the Village Hotel in Bromborough, a decent paying, but not time-consuming job. Throughout the trip request and journey, the plod will record all audio for evidence in court. When the hapless driver requests payment at the Village Hotel, plod shouts for back up on his radio which is when WBC enforcement and plod raid the scene like the fucking Sweeney closely followed by a Recovery North West 7.5t low loader to seize the poor driver's car for technically being uninsured.

How come WTC was never caught I hear you ask? Well, I've had a few close calls. Firstly, when they approach a driver they are only allowed to request a trip once, they aren't allowed to nag you to take them. And secondly, they have to clearly state that they haven't booked a car so when I reply that I'm there to pick up a passenger called, say, Evans, and if that's their name I can take them, they decline the trip because I could always plead that they claimed to be my pre booked passenger. And legit punter trying to get home would just lie and say their name was Evans.

Liverpool Council had something called "Hackney Police" that work both in uniform and plain clothes. They used to be part of Merseyside Police but nowadays are just LCC staff. In all fairness, they aren't a bad bunch. Back in 2009, the company I bought my Ioniq from organised a local taxi expo to sell his cars and LCC Hackney Police attended. They were happy and helpful, especially to Wirral drivers like myself by handing out free drinks cups and lanyards. One (quite attractive) blonde enforcement lady approached me whilst I was sitting in a new Mondeo hybrid estate that was on display and was pretty blatant about stating that as my local council had banned tinted windows like those fitted in said Mondeo, she could sort out an application for me to jump ship and get a Liverpool badge! At this point I feel I should explain, Merseyside Police requested to the five local councils it covers that they want tinted rear windows banned. Only my council capitulated and banned them much to the dismay of Wirral drivers.

More enforcement tales to come soon...

[Warren t claim]

Before taxi compliance was handed over to Merseyside Police five years ago it was common to see WBC taxi licencing camped outside the pubs and clubs on certain Friday nights. As WBC pays it's staff on the 18th of every month, late night enforcement usually happened on the first Friday of a month so they could get their overtime claim in.

Locally, we had a couple of EOs we all knew and as soon as they were located somewhere the base would let us know where they are.

The first bloke was a guy called Howard who TDW members will be pleased to know that W.T.C rocked up at the local town hall demanding to have a straightener with after a certain incident which I'll talk about later. To begin with we had a decent working relationship with no issues. He checked my cars/cabs and found no faults. One night he sought refuge in the back of my hack outside a club in the pissing rain. When I told him that I had to attend the town hall earlier that week because Melanie, a 40 something licencing officer behind the desk, had put the wrong reg number on my plate, he replied that SHE'S ONLY INTERESTED IN COCK! In all fairness he may have a point there as Mel used to be married to Charlie The Iranian who I've mentioned earlier in this thread, and she did dress a little slutty for an office lady. Apparently she is now working as a PA for a WBC councillor.

[Warren t claim]

Anyway, more about Howard. I was tipped off by another EO that he was after me, along with another dozen local drivers. This was despite me having a clean record and no complaints. According to the other EO this was because Howard is a former copper and when his instinct pinged someone it was like a red rag to a bull. Howard paid a visit to the garage that was fixing my 306 that had snapped its cambelt which I mentioned earlier and took it upon himself to rub salt into my wounds by deplating it for having a broken engine which is a very grey area for seizing the plate off a PH car as it wasn't on a hired journey when the belt snapped.

Another encounter happened a couple of years later. I was using a Mk2 Mondeo for the night on Frank's circuit that was normally out on hire but I'd taken it back off the lad that day because the plate expired at midnight that day and had to get it tested the following day. I'd used that as an excuse to fuck off home at 11.30pm. Usually, there'd be no chance of getting caught but as the then Mrs_Claim had texted me to say that she'd made substantial additions to the Ann Summers wing of her wardrobe I wanted to fuck off home early. The next morning I lobbed Ex_Mrs_Claim in the car along with the kids to drop them off at school and take her quarter of a mile up the road to the doctors where she had an appointment for six month old Ickle_Claim on the way to get the car tested but that day WBC decided to have an enforcement day involving Howard riding around with local bike traffic plod Eric in a V8 Discovery. I reversed up the steep incline to the top of the road only to be greeted by said MerPol Traffic Disco waiting for me.

I was summoned to sit in the Disco with Eric whilst Howard and a VOSA cunt inspected my car. At this point I got a text on my phone from Frank to tell me he'd put me on his block insurance. He had obviously driven past and seen me stopped and made sure I was legal in the Mondeo. The Mondeo had a clean bill of health other than one tyre just being 1.55mm according to VOSA cunt. Said VOSA cunt, under the pressure of Howard, said he wasn't going to be an arsehole and make me change my tyre at the roadside, he'd just void my MOT instead! I then got slapped with a prohibition notice telling me not to travel at over 30mph anywhere!

Sadly that wasn't the end of my problems. The Mondeo contained myself, Ex_Mrs_Claim, Ickle_Claim and her other three kids making the Mondeo six up. This would be an immediate plate and badge losing offence but as the plate ran out eight hours ago technically I wasn't in a licenced vehicle so there was limited scope for Howard to nail me to the mast. This didn't stop him from opening the back doors and trying to interview the other kids, aged between four and nine, under caution! Somewhat unsurprisingly my ex had a shit fit at this and started kicking off at Howard! Eric the filth could sense tension and offered to take my ex and baby to the doctors for his appointment to diffuse the situation.

This left me, Howard and a very bewildered looking VOSA cunt at the roadside around my Mondeo. VOSA cunt was refusing to show me the tread depth gauge he'd checked my tyre with and Howard was holding on to the expired taxi plate that I'd of been handing back at lunchtime anyway as some sort of trophy. Eric returned sans Ex_Mrs_Claim and before Howard and VOSA cunt got back into the Disco demanded to know whether I'd paid for an MOT certificate the last time the Mondeo was tested. I should explain that said Mondeo was just over six years old last time it was tested and therefore is was only eligible for a six-month plate. At the time the owner of a PH car could pay an extra tenner for an MOT cert at plating time because then Taxis were considered MOT exempt. He knew no drivers paid the tenner to get the cert and was trying to get Eric to charge me for driving without an MOT. Despite being a cunt, Eric really wasn't interested in being dragged into what was obviously a personal vendetta at 8.30am in the morning so ordered Howard and VOSA cunt back into the Disco to seek more low hanging fruit.

After dropping the kids off at school (whilst never exceeding 30mph) and getting the car inspected (and passed) I went home. At this point, Ex_Mrs_Claim informed me that during the unpleasant proceedings Ickle_Claim had become distressed forcing her to lob a knocker out and breastfeed Ickle_Claim. Apparently, Howard had shown great interest in this and leered at her causing much offence. Now, W.T.C isn't too keen on nonces so I went straight to the Town Hall demanding satisfaction. When there I demanded to speak to the boss of licencing, a lady called Margaret who's still there today. I demanded that Howard is recalled back to the office to answer for his pervert actions to which her reply was "that's not possible as he's out on an enforcement exercise." Evil Warren, who by now had appeared at the scene, didn't like this answer and correctly stated that "If it was a driver being alleged of the same offence he'd have been suspended and arrested by now!" Margaret, who by now was getting both flustered and angry, said that without Ex_Mrs_Claim being there to make the complaint she had few options.

Shortly after the above incident, I split up with Mrs_Claim. Maybe six months later I was going through the voicemails on my mobile, something I rarely bother doing and was surprised to hear a message from the local councillor in charge of licencing inviting myself and Ex_Mrs_Claim to come in for a coffee and chat about a matter involving her and a member of staff. It turns out that WBC had received many complaints about Howard and was looking for a way to get rid of him! Obviously, neither of us attended due to break up issues. Many years later when I returned to the trade I spoke with another EO who told me that one day Howard left the office as normal and never retuned again. No retirement party, no final farewell, just vanished never to be seen in the town hall again.

TL:DR.

[Warren t claim]

Actually, yes, the Ex_Mrs_Claim did lob a complaint in the following day!

We were interviewed by the other EO called John, who's now retired, who got on with me and Mutha_Claim (who was also a driver) well. He made her write a full statement of the events and his last question to her was "what's a pretty lady like you doing with a bloke like Warren?" John was a song, dance and ladies man who was popular with the drivers for being both firm and fair with a great sense of humour. Once I was parked up in Hoylake at closing time during an enforcement night and he was chatting to me (about the Ex_Mrs_Claim) a girl approached my private hire car and said "if I get my tits out for you will you take me to Birkenhead?" Now there's no fucking way I'd do an illegal street pick up right next to an enforcement officer so I declined her tempting offer. When she left John said "fucking hell Warren! You should've taken her up on that offer! I'd have looked the other way!"

Another time Mutha_Claim was caught by John driving her taxi without a fuel cap because she'd left it on top of a petrol pump after buying diesel. Now, this is one of those offences that could be big trouble as it's classed as a dangerous defect. I rang John to plead for clemency after buying a replacement cap and he stated that if he sees the cap in his office with a decent excuse he'd not take it any further. Obviously, I despatched Ex_Mrs_Claim into his office wearing a short dress, black tights and four inch heels, the outfit he seems to like, with the aforementioned fuel cap to ensure that the matter was forgotten about.

[mercrocker]

Jeez....if people of minority were hassled like that there'd be a fucking outcry.